How To Have A Number One
Our so-called columnist explains how you, yes you, can have a Number One hit. We pay him for this.
Moog Launderette
Events have taken a strange turn, but events are always strange when our loose screw columnist is in the house
My Lego Roland Orzabal
The Lego he’s been ordering lately has got a little out of hand
2020: My Predictions
A kazoo, cool sunglasses and a hard-boiled egg
The 2010s According To Me
How do we sum up the last 10 years? “Ask Fats,” someone suggested. We wish we hadn’t…
Delia Derbyshire
“Who’s in the magazine this month so I can write about them?” “It’s Delia Derbyshire,” we said. What could possibly go wrong…
Acid House
He turns up each month waving paper with words on insisting he’s a columnist. We think he might be lost.
Moral Dilemmas
A waste of space? Sure, but our errant columnist came in pretty handy when we wanted someone to look after the office hamster while we were on our holidays…
A Wrestling Match With Adamski
We tried to hide our errant columnist’s blatherings, but looks like you’ve found them anyway. This time he’s got an interesting theory he’d like to tell you about…
Basingstoke. Kraftwerk. Karaoke slam.
Our so-called “columnist” with a pile of words in some kind of order. His column feels like that day your parents moved house and didn’t think to mention it. Eh? Not happened to you? Just us then…