Fizzy Water As A Treat

When our so-called columnist gets ideas above his station, we hang him upside down in the stationery cupboard for a bit. We forgot we’d put him there this month. He went a bit odd, can you spot the difference?

Our esteemed columnist wonders why it is he isn’t more famous, musically speaking. We whistle, scuff the dirt and look in the other direction

A waste of space? Sure, but our errant columnist came in pretty handy when we wanted someone to look after the office hamster while we were on our holidays…

He asked if he could write “proper stuff”. “You know, about history and that,” he said

In order to protect himself from the cruel world out there, our resident loose cannon, erm, columnist, has a genius plan… sigh