My New Social Media App: Fatr

Our potentially award-winning columnist is not easily impressed. He is, in fact, easily unimpressed. Ask him about DJs these days. Go on, ask him and see what happens. And yes, that is prune juice on his cardigan

He turns up each month waving paper with words on insisting he’s a columnist. We think he might be lost.

Hang on… we’re just calling the men in white coats. Our esteemed columnist needs his injection and that nice coat with the sleeves round the back. “Hello? Yes, ambulance again please, and hurry…”

It had to happen, our wotnot columnist person has been unleashed, let into the real world to talk out loud. To other people. Maybe you should go see him. We can’t, we’re washing the office that day