Bell-ringing
And this, gentle reader, is what happens when a grown man spends an entire weekend listening to Chuck Berry’s ‘My Ding-A-Ling’ on repeat…
Loyal Readers
This month, our regular columnist has locked himself away in the stationery cupboard with a huge pile of letters from readers…
Techno, Techno, Techno
Our arse-end-of-the-mag columnist tackles the deadly serious subject of techno, techno, techno, techno
I Am So Very Good At Kicksporting Football Soccer
Our back-page columnist reveals his incredible knowledge of football. And pies.
I Am Ill
Our back page columnist says he has written his latest missive while hallucinating.
Theremins
“I know all about theremins," he said. [Editor reads copy, rolls eyes]
Space For 1999?
There’s a good reason we park this columnist at the back of the mag.
Summer Holiday
Can you be deported from Whitby?
Cancel Culture
With some inevitability, cancel culture has finally caught up with our so-called columnist. What took so long?
My New Social Media App: Fatr
He’s done what? Well who let him do that? This won’t end well