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I ate the dog

Starting 2018 as he means to go on, Our columinst has been working hard on his late copy excuses. This month: “my column is late, I ate the dog”
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Mullet Mickey’s Taste Emporium

Our so-called columnist walks an ever-decreasing fine line between having a job and, well, how to put this? not having a job. Here he wins our Annual first mention of Xmas competition, by some distance…
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Charly

Posh toffs and banjos? King Charles III raving it up?? Looks like our wayward columnist has finally gone royally mad