90 Per Cent Hairball

Our erstwhile columnist has been let out to play. He’s treading the boards at the Edinburgh Fringe. Brace yourselves because he’s fretting. And when he frets, there’s generally Windowlene involved

Turns out our resident columnist also enjoys throwing shapes on the dancefloor. You should see him do the fandango. Very, very frightening

Like a Rat up drainpipe, our columnist is as naked as a Jaybird and proud as a Peacock… he’s a sitting Duck. let sleeping Dogs lie. look, it’s complicated

Hang on… we’re just calling the men in white coats. Our esteemed columnist needs his injection and that nice coat with the sleeves round the back. “Hello? Yes, ambulance again please, and hurry…”