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Cattle

There would come a day, inevitably, when our so-called columnist would tip himself over the edge. That day has come, he has finally lost it and what broke him? Cattle. CATTLE!
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No More Nails

Our resident columnist is back from his stint at the Edinburgh Festival. We reckon you ought to be seeing him on ‘Mock The Week’ any day now. In the meantime, he’s demanding a pay rise and going on about Aphex Twin again
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Lovely clogs

Fat Roland is musing in a slimmed-down way. On his mind this month (as far as we can tell): New Formats
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Porkies Again

We really do try to keep him away from the “special” water. In this issue, the truth about bestselling albums. we are sorry
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Bloblique Blategies

Do not, under any circumtances, feed our mildly dangerous columnist magic mushrooms. He can’t even take regular ones without getting off his nut. People, run for your lives, no one is safe…