Ford Fiestas

Our award-winning columnist tackles the age-old problem of, well, of age and being old. More specifically, being one of those really sad old people who still goes to gigs. Don’t worry, you’re in good company. Fats knows your pain

Spread some festive cheer we said. “I’ve bought a drum machine,” he said

A man who can’t understand that disco biscuits and chocolate biscuits aren’t quite the same thing, our… what’s that? He’s done it again, hasn’t he?

Our resident columnist is back from his stint at the Edinburgh Festival. We reckon you ought to be seeing him on ‘Mock The Week’ any day now. In the meantime, he’s demanding a pay rise and going on about Aphex Twin again