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Madchester

A man who can’t understand that disco biscuits and chocolate biscuits aren’t quite the same thing, our… what’s that? He’s done it again, hasn’t he?
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Tazered Travolta

Turns out our resident columnist also enjoys throwing shapes on the dancefloor. You should see him do the fandango. Very, very frightening
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Electronic Sound HQ

In desperate need of a sugar fix, our self-styled columnist is heading for Electronic Sound HQ. Not again. Excuse us while we lock up the biscuits and batten down the hatches
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Bloblique Blategies

Do not, under any circumtances, feed our mildly dangerous columnist magic mushrooms. He can’t even take regular ones without getting off his nut. People, run for your lives, no one is safe…