I Can’t Get No Sleep

It had to happen, our wotnot columnist person has been unleashed, let into the real world to talk out loud. To other people. Maybe you should go see him. We can’t, we’re washing the office that day

“I know all about theremins," he said. [Editor reads copy, rolls eyes]

A television set has many names. We put a strong case for idiot box being our favourite

The intro goes here, it runs over three lines and should gently undermine the confidence of our columnist… what? We’ve not written an intro? gah

He asked if he could write “proper stuff”. “You know, about history and that,” he said