Why Am I Not A Famous Novelist?
“Words are stupid” Tom Tom Club once said. When they’re in the hands of a particular columnist they are.
The United States of America
Big place, America. So big that if our so-called columnist ever visited he could easily get lost
Unnecessarily Repetitive
“I’d like to pay tribute to Daft Punk,” he said the other day. Oh oh.
Cloudbuster!
Remain calm readers, we are on the phone to the vets as we type
Meet Geoff, Electronic Music Ambassador
While our dealings with our columnist are strictly email only, it’s nice to hear he has a friend… sort of
Bandus Campos
Right, who left the special cakes out? Oh no, not again
My Gym Has An Ambient Room
He’s a big man and he’s out of shape. Sleep soundly dear reader
Television, Drug of the Nation
A television set has many names. We put a strong case for idiot box being our favourite
Music Is Not Real
He asked if he could write “proper stuff”. “You know, about history and that,” he said
Thou Shalt Not Twist Thy Neighbours Melon
We think he might have started having lockdown fever dreams. Get a priest…