Ford Fiestas

The intro goes here, it runs over three lines and should gently undermine the confidence of our columnist… what? We’ve not written an intro? gah

When our so-called columnist gets ideas above his station, we hang him upside down in the stationery cupboard for a bit. We forgot we’d put him there this month. He went a bit odd, can you spot the difference?

Deluded, misguided, ill-informed, flawed, confused, and for the most part, barking up the wrong tree. Oh, sorry Fats, opened A letter addressed to you by mistake. It’s from your doctor…

Spread some festive cheer we said. “I’ve bought a drum machine,” he said

Peering down the corridors of power, our intrepid correspondent is the one with his ear pressed up against that door at the end. On the other side, someone is shouting about The Prodigy…