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Chips. Cheese. Things. Words

We’re a little bit worried about Fat Roland, our resident columnist. This month, despite promising he wouldn’t keep taking the tablets, he’s talking about his BRIAN ENO HOT PANTS again
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Amoeba blobby thing

When our so-called columnist gets ideas above his station, we hang him upside down in the stationery cupboard for a bit. We forgot we’d put him there this month. He went a bit odd, can you spot the difference?
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Bell-ringing

And this, gentle reader, is what happens when a grown man spends an entire weekend listening to Chuck Berry’s ‘My Ding-A-Ling’ on repeat…