Shaven Armadillos

Pop it in the goal, mate. That was easily a hole in one, ref. He’s got a googly in the bunker. Sport! 

Starting 2018 as he means to go on, Our columinst has been working hard on his late copy excuses. This month: “my column is late, I ate the dog”

Hang on… we’re just calling the men in white coats. Our esteemed columnist needs his injection and that nice coat with the sleeves round the back. “Hello? Yes, ambulance again please, and hurry…”

Our resident columnist questions the benefit of the Performing Rights Society’s latest committee